Sunday, August 8, 2010

back from vacation

I know it has been a while since I have written anything...Still  kind of learning....

I just got back from vacation...Well I guess you could call it a vacation...Went camping in  Arkansas...It was hot as hell...I know now, with out a shadow of a doubt, that I want to have this lap band and get this fricking weight off...It is not at all about what I look like anymore...I'm tired of how it all feels....I'm tired of having trouble walking up a hill....The heat almost killed me...I swear I wanted to die more than once....Did figure out one thing that stops my compulsive eating....HEAT.....I was so hot that I could not hardly eat...and the only thing I could drink was water...I was the only one who lost weight on this vacation...

Thought alot this last week about the lap band and getting my life back...If I don't do this now, I'm going to get old before my time..

I have lost and gained weight many many times before....but this weight gain is much harder then ever.   This is the first time that I truly FEEL the affects of it....Before it was always just about how I looked.....Now that I am 47 and over weight and out of shaped it is time to do something about it or I'm going to be in a little scooter soon...

Tomorrow I go too the seminar for the lap band...getting excited...The lap band journay begins...wish me luck....
Christy

christy

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Ok I'm going to try this again...I tried to post my first post yesterday and in my final spell checking I must have pushed the wrong button cuz my whole post disappeared...I was pissed so I'm going to make this one short and sweet.
I'm not real sure how to do this blog thing..I know it is supposed to be like journaling, and even though I have been through lots of therapy, I never really journaled..writing is very hard for me...I'm very dyslectic and trying to write in a journal just didn't work for me...I could never let it just flow cuz my handwriting was so bad and I couldn't spell at all..but typing this where I have spell check makes it much easier..so please excuse the bad grammar, run on sentences, etc....
Ok now that being said...I'm a 47 yr old woman that has been obsessed with food and weight since the 3rd grade when a boy told me that I was too fat to wear the shirt I had on and he poked me in the belly...
For the first 25 yrs of my life I only battled with 10 to 15 lbs...After having 2 children the battle is now 70 to 80 lbs....I have lost weight many many many time before.  No more that 35 lbs at a time...Don't know why, but 35lbs was always the magic number...When I would get into the right mind set to lose weight there was nothing to stop me...I don't know what it was that put in that mind set because it only happen about 1 and every 10 times that I would start a diet...The funny thing is that EVERYTIME I would start looking and feeling good and getting complements from people that is when I would ALWAYS start putting the weight back on...what is up with that...I can run into people only once r twice a year and I would always look like a different person...there was the fat christy and the not so fat christy...I'm as so tired of living like this...
I am not going to look into the lap band...I go to the seminar meeting on Aug 9th...
I also decided to start journaling in a blog....you know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results...well it is time for me to do something different....
This blog will be the beginning of doing things differently.............christy